The first 5 years

I was born Amanda Marie MacDonald on March 18, 1979. My mom was 16 when she got pregnant with me. My mother was shamed by our very Catholic family; my grandmother tried to encourage my mom to get an abortion so that no one would ever know. My biological dad, Rick Roth, was 19 and a drunk and drug addict. He showed up to the hospital the morning I was born drunk and vomiting all over. My Grandpa kicked him out, yet he didn't kick the doctor out who delivered me while he was drunk (St. Patty's celebration). I was born early in the morning and weighed a healthy 7 lb. 9 oz. They originally told my mother that she was having twins and she planned on naming us Amanda and Andrew (Mandy and Andy). And yes, I was named after the Barry Manilow song. I was instantly the apple of my Grandpa's eye and my grandma instantly took back the 'abortion' wish. I was told that my BD (stands for biological dad or big douchebag) wanted nothing to do with us. My mom went to him to ask for $$ but a toothless lady answered the door. That incident pretty much ended any contact with him. My mom finished high school with honors, worked part time and took care of me.

She met a man named Tom Rhode and fell in love with him. He loved me and I loved him. My mom decided to marry him and he adopted me (later in my life he told me he only did that because it was politically correct and what was expected of him) when I was 4. He enlisted in the Air Force and we moved to K.I. Sawyer, Michigan. I remember that just before we moved was the first time that I saw him hit my mom. My memory is so clear, it's as if it happened yesterday. It was Easter and I was searching for my Easter basket and he had just come in from being out drinking with his friends. My mom was pissed and started questioning him. He grabbed her head and literally slammed it through the wall. He left immediately. I went to my mom and put my bathrobe on her head to stop the bleeding. We were both crying but I didn't know what to do. I don't know how long we sat there but before I knew what was going on Tom was back with a man in a military uniform. The man sent me to my room and I didn't move, I didn't want to leave my mom, so Tom grabbed me by my pony tail and literally carried me to the room kicking and screaming. I laid at the door listening and sobbing. The man in uniform begged my mom not to press charges, he swore that Tom was sorry, it would never happen again, and something like this would ruin Tom. She agreed not to tell anyone and was rewarded with a dozen red roses, box of chocolates and $$ to go to dinner. The recruiter then came to get me, so we could have a 'talk'. He told me that my daddy was very upset and it wouldn't happen again. He told me not to tell anyone because my daddy would go to jail and I never would see him again. I was 5 and scared out of my mind. I promised that I wouldn't tell and he gave me a stuffed teddy bear and some M&M's. We moved to Michigan a week later and this incident wasn't mentioned again for many years. This was the beginning of a very rough life.

Under Construction

Please be patient with me as I am new to blogging. I will post my life history, past struggles, current struggles and all of the amazing events that impact my life. I am open to any suggestions as far as layout, look, etc because honestly I don't have a CLUE what I'm doing so I'm learning as I go.